It is best to schedule a reminder for yourself to run an update on all your OS installs and Node.js/Node-RED installs - maybe every 6months. Or more often if you can stomach it.
For most people, it is easier to keep up by doing smaller changes every few months than it is to have to do a massive set of changes every few years.
I think you use the standard install on your PIs don't you? If so then just use the usual install/upgrade script to update node red and nodejs. Add --node20 on the end if you want to go to v20, which is probably a good idea.
The script will copy with any PI. If you have a very old OS it may not work. I think anything after Jessie should be ok, though I am not certain about Stretch.
I'm running NR 4.x and Node20 on RasPi 3B and 3B+ with no problem. have a massive NR flow and the RasPi is running less than 10% CPU, and 43% memory.
So plenty of legs left in the Pi3B and it is much lower power.
Even loaded Node 22 which ran OK, but had a lot of depreciation warnings so will wait a but longer.