OK, I thought something like this. Never worked with pagination....
I think there is no need for page reloads at any moment.
You can update/add individual cells or rows by sending commands. Simply by sending the updateOrAddData command. Tabulator can hold a huge amount of data (I managed more than 100,000 lines in my syslog server until the browser quits with an out of memory message).
In the docs you can find info how to call tabulator functions from node-red. You can also use example Example 4 and 6.
Or this post:
You should be able to call any functions for tabulator, like delete rows, change filters, ...
