Well, after many trials and attemps I think I have the clue....
I originally thought it was related to the serial port as apparently loads for a second after service restart but then is gone...node-red-node-serialport but after testing found no difference.
The point is with node-red-node-arduino versions 0.1.0 or previous it works fine, with 0.2.2/0.2.1 or 0.2.0 it has a problem, I see relays making a blink at service boot up what means it connects for a moment but afterwarts is gone and does not connect anymore.
If I diconect usb cable and connect again so raspi reassign to port usb1, I change it on arduino config node and restart it will work at deploy, but as soon as you restart service again it will be again failing.
Hope that helps someone else, for now I remain at 0.1.0 npm version, proceed with>
npm install email@example.com
note I have latest version up to date for everything
Thanks for your time guys.