It's confusing too; I used to occasionally cover for a colleague who had them as an account and have done work in their datacenter. Their setup and R&D department are just too sharp for that kind of laziness to be ok.
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Not a node but here is a flow to turn your coffee pot on and automatically turn it off Coffee Pot Timer
I just need a robot to add the water, the ground coffee, brew it, pour it into my insulated mug, bring it to me, wash the coffee machine.
Not too much to ask for is it in the 21st Century?!
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My colleague is actually using Node-RED to control his Turtlebot 2. Maybe we could teach it to serve coffee as well. 
He has documented his project here: https://marvinferber.net/?p=14
BTW: I take full responsibility for infecting him with Node-RED. 
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Like, I know weāre mostly joking around now but quite a few of the things mentioned I had already in the pipeline for flows, including one to interact with the grocery store website and order me my weekly groceries upon request. Not as directly as an RFC 2324 approach (though not so useful for me as I need to handle the status 418 instead), still good 
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