OMG, thats it, I guess i have node red installed twice now,
20 Jun 13:49:18 - [info] Node-RED version: v3.0.0-beta.3
beta 3 is up and running, no flows fresh install.
so i guess this is not the way to update on Dietpi
this did a install in User directory : /home/dietpi/.node-red
I might be wrong, and I don't immediately see a definitive answer in the documentation, but (not actually on a DietPi) to install a node-red version it's apparently
cd ~
sudo npm install -g --unsafe-perm node-red@next
whereas to install a specific version of a node it would be
cd ~/.node-red
npm i node-red-dashboard@2.24.1-beta
No idea why one needs cd ~/.node-red while the other needs sudo, nor about DietPi mount points.